Thursday, August 31, 2006

Men Are Like Rubber Bands

Girls, this may make you wish you are lesbians, but this is one of the secrets for a successful relationship with your partner.

Guys, Elkom 3en te7ku 3anna Mafaseem?!

Here you go:

Men are like rubber bands. When they pull away, they can stretch only so far before they come springing back. A rubber band is the perfect metaphor to understand the male intimacy cycle. This cycle involves getting close, pulling away, and then getting close again.

Most women are surprised to realize that even when a man loves a woman, periodically he needs to pull away before he can get closer. Men instinctively feel this urge to pull away. It is not a decision or choice. It just happens. It is neither his fault nor her fault. It is a natural cycle.

Women misinterpret a manʹs pulling away because generally a woman pulls away for different reasons. She pulls back when she doesnʹt trust him to understand her feelings, when she has been hurt and is afraid of being hurt again, or when he has done something wrong and disappointed her.

Certainly a man may pull away for the same reasons, but he will also pull away even if she has done nothing wrong. He may love and trust her; and then suddenly he begins to pull away. Like a stretched rubber band, he will distance himself and then come back all on his own.

A man pulls away to fulfill his need for independence or autonomy. When he has fully stretched away, then instantly he will come springing back. When he has fully separated, then suddenly he will feel his need for love and intimacy again. Automatically he will he more motivated to give his love and receive the love he needs. When a man springs back, he picks up the relationship at whatever degree of intimacy it was when he stretched away. He doesnʹt feel any need for a period of getting reacquainted again.

John Gray – Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus


Ora said...

Soooooooo true Tash!
And they say girls are complicated; at least our reactions are based upon a solid reason (Although not always visible to the male eye)...
These Martians should come with a manual!

Rami said...

Martians should come with manual?! martians are the most self-explanatory creatures ever!

It is venusians who need multilingual manuals, user guides and tutorials!

Every martian in the world can give you an example of an unexplained, vague, mysterious, x-files-style action that he went through with a venusian. You can write a book about that!

Oh, BTW, I like the rubber band metaphor.

Ammar Ibrahim said...

You made this up :P This can't be true hehe

Abbadi Natasha said...

Ammar , BaaLLLaaaaa!

Rami, both Martians a Venusians need Manuals, unfortunately we speak deferent languages! We talk for deferent reasons, we go silent for deferent reasons, and we show love in deferent ways!

You think it is easy to deal with a "rubber band" all your life!??

What if he pulls away when I really need him? You just can’t rely on a rubber band! My girl friend will always be there for me, she doesn’t need to pull away from time to time!

Even when Martians are in their intimacy phase, they usually don’t know how to listen to us, how to support us, they don’t know that only listening and showing understanding of what we are going through will make us feel better.

It is not because Martians are bad , or because they don’t love us , it is simply because they talk for other reasons , a Martian talks to get an advice or help , when we talk we are not usually looking for a solution, we just need someone to listen!

We both need to learn sooooo much about each other:( homosexuals are lucky!

The Observer said...

I think that it is just a human nature. Women can be like rubber bands as well!

Would it be dull to stay close for a long time? Doesn't every kind of relationship has its ups and downs?

Spending a lot of time with someone would trigger a sense that you want some space, doesnt it? and when you get that you feel you want to go back closer again?

ABOUD said...

somehow this might be true.

What rami has said is right also.

Dandoosh said...

It's GOOD to understand their Natural Cycle
This is one of the secrets for a successful relationship with your partner if he knows WHEN TO STRETCH OUT and HOW TO COME BACK?

He should understand that there is OTHER PARTY in that RELATION !!

“When a man springs back, he picks up the relationship at whatever degree of intimacy it was when he stretched away. He doesn’t feel any need for a period of getting reacquainted again”

Wo e7na? sho a7’barna.. We SHOULD stay the SAME!! WAITING for him to STRETCH OUT??

Abbadi Natasha said...

U ana Kaman narfazni, Jala6ni iza beddek !
Eno shu ya 7abibi, ru7i ru7i, ta3ali ta3ali !! Btetkhawatthh!

But it can get really dangerous if a man doesn’t pull away,he may lose touch with his desire and passion to be close,other common symptoms are increased moodiness, irritability,passiveness,and defensiveness.

I think he should pull away in a nice way, and come back in a nice way (if exists), so we wont feel “ru7i ru7i,ta3ali ta3ali”
The funny part is, that if doesn’t feel welcomed when he is back, he may feel blamed and guilty for pulling away (which his natural need and right) so he may try not to do it another time, and if he doesn’t the consequences are catastrophic!

Yallla Allah be3een, shu bedna ne3mal? Bedna nakhodhom 3ala 2ad 3a2elhom!

Ghaith Al-Amaireh said...

sometimes when you spring back there is no one there, simply you lost her for being away without her understanding!

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